Moved

Guys, I've decided to move today, an hour before my second interview with Maxis.

This weblog has been good with me and truly, I feel really unwilling to leave but I don't intend to dwell in my past. It's a whole new world out there for me now that I've met EdwardI'm free and looking forward to what the future holds for me. I don't want to feel held back by my past, and I want to forget things that should not be remembered.

Nevertheless, thanks for all the support and don't hesitate to go over to my new weblog and relink me. Sorry for the inconveniences. Oh and please leave me a comment or mail if I missed out any of your links. I'm good with exchanging links, too, as long as your weblog is not um, you know, lala-ish, filled with spam, and um, you get what I mean.

Wish me luck in rebuilding my life and reinventing myself, will you?

Thanks (;

*Clicketty click*

Everyone's Gay-ing

"Finish dy. Damn handsome wei."
"No doubt. Freaking mesmerizing!"
"And the father. F*ck."
- Ian Tan, after Twilight

I told you!

I think Edward Cullen is turning every guy gay. This is getting worrying.

No Edward dreaming )':

I'm listening to : Goodbye by Miley Cyrus

Maxis just called!!!! I'm going for a second interview this evening (; Pray for me folks.

Mom wants to watch Twilight because I've been Edward Cullen-ing so much since I got back from Jusco yesterday. Sleep last night was disappointing because I didn't have dreams, when I was really hoping to dream of Edward )': By any means, I am watching Twilight at least twice more. I MUST. Why won't Edward come to life, come here and give me a nice sensual kiss? Okay enough enough I'm only disappointing myself further.

Anyway, Steffi and mom actually bought me the November issues of Cleo and Seventeen! Heh, they love me (; Dad's not back from Johor yet, he'll be back today so we can all celebrate/grief if I get/don't get the job -_-"

According to Seventeen, my horoscope, Capricorn's signs for the month of November says :

You're in luck this month, all because of Jupiter, the planet of good fortune! Around November 24 you'll ace a major test that you hardly studied for. (You may not be so furtunate next time!) Keep your lucky streak going : Now is the time to ask your parents for a later curfew!

Walao what does that mean? Around 24th, I had.. I had Literature on the 26th. So I aced it?? Hahaha nuts. And I'm not going to push my luck with the curfew part since they are the ones having to fetch me here and there.

In Cleo, Capricorn's signs for the month of November says :

New ventures can turn into succcess but only with focus and hardwork.
Feeling sluggish? Then get into shape by indulging in scintillating conversations and to get physically motivated, join a club.
Stop beating yourself up for doing the wrong thing : the truth is you had a lucky escape.

WAHH ho liao ho liao. Coincidental crazy.

Okay okay enough enough.

// Ian your internet sucks. Didn't get your replies and I doubt you got mine on MSN also. Talking halfway so exciting suddenly cut off -_-"

Filler. Aih.

Got tagged by Jo.

1. What's your ambition?
= Audio engineer, Mrs Cullen.

2. Which is more important to you : Friends/Boyfriend/Girlfriends
= Friends

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
= Not so much anymore.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
= Yeah.

5. How many babies do you want?
= None.

6. What is your goal for this year?
= This year's nearly done with. Next year's will be up soon.

7. Do you believe in eternal love?
= I did once, and then I lost my faith in it. But it's changed now that I chanced upon Edward. Fine, so he doesn't know me and he doesn't really exist. But dreams come true.

8. Do you want to change your real name?
= Cullen as my last name would be awesome.

9. What feeling do you love the most?
= Security, definitely.

10. What are your bad habits?
= I always trust the wrong people.

11. Is there anything you want to tell people who hate you?
= LOSERS.

12. Do you cherish every friendship you have?
= No, many are fake.

13. What does flying mean to you?
= Just about everything in the world, it's a childhood dream come true to fly without wings. As in really fly, not the funny zero-gravity experience they have in Genting.

14. Who do you love?
= Edward Cullen.

15. Who do you hate?
= Bella Swan. Hahahah nolah. Some sl*t.

16. Describe the person who tagged you in nine words.
= Small, Mousey, Fashionable, Nice, GATAL, Nice hair.

17. What would you really like to do now?
= Get two sensual kisses from Edward. One like that of the prom scene and the other on the neck also from the prom scene.

18. What will you be in the next ten years?
= Audio engineer. Hopefully.

19. Coffee or Tea?
= English Breakfast Tea.

20. What are you wishing for right now?
= For Edward Cullen to come to life and make me swoon in his arms.

I tag :
Ian, Jasmine, Mei Yen, Shanni.

The Cullen Dream

It's done with. Every eighteen papers is done with. All ten subjects.

The end of the super stuffy uniform.
The end of stupid inconsiderate teachers.
The end of having to force learn the Malay language.
The end of tuition lessons.
The end of sitting in class all day not knowing what to do.
The end of the horrid History.
...the end of being in the place I grew up in.

That was it, the last day of secondary school. We were all rather reluctant to leave the exam hall early because it was to be our last time sitting in the dingy classrooms. That was the last time we'd be in our uniforms, and the last time we'd be in school as a student. I've not felt the pinch of nostalgia or whatsoever, maybe not yet, and sadly I've not felt the relief of being done with SPM either. Nevertheless, I'd like to thank :-

= Everyone who has been asking me if I'm okay, seeing that I've trying to put up a brave front but seemingly off-focus sometimes. I'm fine really. Thank you (;

= Charana, who has been helping me a good deal with some subjects twenty minute prior to the papers.

= Mrs Wrong, my accounts teacher who happens to be the most dedicated teacher in school, for all the extra tutoring early in the morning on holidays.

= Random people like Haziq, Alex(who of course pushed the duty to...), Tun Sean, who helped me a good deal with Math thirty minutes prior to the paper.

= Mom, who's been making me my favourite half-boiled eggs early in the morning before my papers.

= Steffi, my sister, who taught me how to answer the questions on Circles in Math the night before the paper, and who I owe 12 marks of my Math 2 to.

= The many other people who've helped me through school and SPM.

-

So I really did go to Jusco alone today, walked around with a backpack and went job-hunting. Unfortunately, a stupid new worker at Yamaha took my place and she was so bleeding rude when I asked if they still had vacancies. Nevertheless, I got myself an interview with Maxis and the supervisor was the nicest guy ever(after Edward Cullen). He's gonna call with the news tomorrow, whether or not I get the job.

Walking around all alone today gave some truth to the statement, "When you learn how to befriend yourself, you are never alone". I did feel bored, but not alone. Being alone gives me a sense of belonging. I had Ramen alone, 'till when I was nearly done Jasmine, Wan Xian, Josephine and Lin Yun came to join me for a bit before I headed off to watch my movie. Oh and I smuggled McFlurry in the cinema.

Needless to say, I watched Twilight. I don't care how the movie ruins the book and blah blah, shit Edward Cullen is the dream. I swear, I never liked him, until I watched the movie today. In real life, he is nowhere near how gorgeous he was in the movie. I swear I've never felt like that about an actor, I was literally smiling to myself throughout the entire movie. His intense stares with those (I don't care if the contacts are obvious) oh-so-mesmerising eyes could drown me. I swear, I swear, Edward Cullen is my kind of guy. Loyal, so bleeding loving, gorgeous and most of all, protective and always, always there when Bella needs help.
Needless to say, during that scene where he got into Bella's room through the window, and they talked and laughed and she slept with her head on his chest, I was fuming inside. I was literally fuming. And when they came out of his car together at school and he had those sunglasses on, my lord.
He's just not like any other actor or character in a movie where there are pros and cons, Edward Cullen is simply...perfect. Even his dad, Dr. Cullen was... *whistles*

If I go on, I swear I'll go mentally ill. I can't sleep now because I can't stop thinking about him. He doesn't even really exist!! But if he does, if he really does, I'd ask for a real kiss. WTH GO SLEEP LAH DREAM DREAM DREAM.

// If I were a guy I'd turn gay for Ed Cullen.

A little peak into my new life (;

I'm listening to : Sorry by The Jonas Brothers

I know I know it's been on repeat for days but I like mah. Last papers tomorrow, then I'm going to watch movies alone [;
I can only afford to watch one or two movies tomorrow and the rest Weds because I'm broke and I don't intend to make my parents fork out money for my own entertainment.

Today Ian had to invite me to his house for his sister's hen's night because he must be damn malu he didn't invite me hahahah. Kidding.

I'm going to Taylor's on Saturday with Mei Yen, and probably to the Facon edufair in PWTC on Sunday(this is on design, arts and music). I've decided to pursue music after SPM, but looking more at :

• Audio Engineering
• Performance
• Professional Music
• Songwriting

I am still a bit doubtful about ICOM as I don't know anyone from there and have not had personal feedback. And ICOM's fees slashthroat one lah even more expensive than doing A' Levels(Science) in Taylor's. I'm unsure if Berklee is where I want to go, I was thinking more of USC but nevertheless if I even get accepted into Berklee it'll be a dream come true. But you can bet it's going to be really competitive.

I'm still abit unsure myself since all the above four are seperate courses and I don't know which one I want most because I want all, it will make me an all-rounder. Many people may doubt my odd choice of higher education but family members(especially mom and dad) and relatives have always been very supportive of me pursuing music, ever since I was very young they'd always tell me to pursue songwriting after school. I've never considered it much because for the first twelve years of my music background I played classical instruments and it was a pasttime but not something I wanted to make a career out of. But all that's changed since I self-taught myself in guitar with dad's guidance.

I've always had an ear for music(though sometimes I'm seriously convinced I am half tone-deaf), to tell what instrument is used by the sound of the music produced, to tell the note sang or played without mistake, and to be able to tell which component's gone wrong in a song not well-patched. I'm really excited to see what this has to offer me, so wish me luck. Oh and I better start brushing up on my theory which I've almost completely forgotten.

I'm also going to ask for the job in Yamaha tomorrow before watching either QOS(Daniel CRAIGGGG) or Twilight(Edward Cullennnnnn because I don't like Robert in real life). Prepared my CV and all that, just need to print it out. I'm really excited for this new life ahead of me, and my aunt has been very supportive of me wanting to work for my own expenses(eventhough working for the next seven months doesn't even actually assure me a MacBook Pro. Even if it does, without Logic Studio -_-"). I'm also switching to Maxis Postpaid once I get a more steady income/allowance because I think the Value50 plan is simple but wonderful.

Econs tomorrow. Wish me luck people. I'm also moving my blog after this because it's a new life out there for me. I was thinking of starting it on my birthday but since it's tomorrow that I start afresh, why not sooner, and document my new life in a whole new journal? I'll let you guys know soon. Heh d;
Btw, it didn't win me. That was not the prize for me. My prize is a future brighter than your rather common and bleak ones. Good luck though!

// One day, when I become a renowned audio engineer in the States and own my own recording studio, come to me okay? I'll record you on some tracks for fun and for free [; Promise.

#191

I went for a haircut today and it's shorter than the last. Would like the fringe a bit longer though.

I'm watching Twilight, Quantum of Solace, Bolt, Wild Child, Quarantine and Lakeview Terrace next week. All by myself. I like my own company.

I'm flunking Accounts and Econs. Bye.

Heal My Wounds

I'm listening to : Sorry by The Jonas Brothers

Walking around Jusco alone, my eyes searched high and low for that significant someone, or something. Needless to say it was unproductive. Watching couples walk hand-in-hand, my heart sank.

But I reminded myself of what I was told about Roger Federer today, about why he remains world #1. Though it did not exactly make me feel any better, it gave me the guts to be brave and want to be okay.

Anyway, about my previous entry, I was talking about posh lounges not bars where football fans go and tokkok.

Hmm. Been playing the guitar and serenading myself a little too often now. Strumming and singing Sorry and Goodbye, many times I broke down and buried my face in my palms. But then I remind myself to imagine myself in a track event, where there's one competitor that everyone tells me is going to win. Do I succumb to the discouragement, or do I do the opposite? As bloody good as my competitor gets, I'm not letting them topple me.

And I'll take out the fire extinguisher and kill the fire before it kills me (;

Give the girl suggestions

I'm listening to : Sorry by The Jonas Brothers

I'm really hooked on this song. Jo's fault.

Anyway, I was looking through the newspapers today and (let's just not talk about the Mumbai attacks right now okay?) there are a lot of ads on shopping malls having this whole Christmas extravagant events and stuff, in which I am really interested to attend. Even if it's just carolling and fake snow d;

So yeah, I'm asking if anyone has any suggestions on where to go and what to do after SPM, because I might only be starting work in Jan(Shanni said relax first don't so kancheong). I was wondering if you guys know any bars that play good jazz music and not too overcrowded, not noisy with a nice cosy ambience and good view of KL. Eh wait, must you be above18 to enter a bar, even if you don't order an alcoholic drink?

I was thinking of making my parents bring me there but I found a companion who loves nice quiet bars with jazz music, Shanni. So yeap, please please please suggest something. No clubs thanks, the last thing I want is to be jammed with sweaty stinking filthy perverts who dry-hump every girl in sight. Somewhere quiet and very cosy would be great (;

Oh and tell me about Christmas events too, you know, something not noisy and nowhere too congested?

Thanks (:

Goodbye

I could honestly say you've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, and today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget
Is goodbye

I woke up this morning and played our song
And through my tears I sang along
I picked up the phone and then put it down
'Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget

Suddenly my cellphone's blowing up with your ringtone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
And I'm surprised to hear you say

You remember when we kissed
You still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
You remember the simple things
We talk till we cry
You say that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I'd forget
Is saying goodbye
Saying goodbye
- Miley Cyrus
(The only song I like from her, thanks Jo)